Disclaimer: the following content was written as a part of The Seminole’s 2015 April Fool’s issue. The content included is false. Happy April Fool’s Day!

By: Bobbi Zahn, Activities Manager, Kadin Daigle, Copy Editor, and Katelyn Liston, Reporter

1. If he’s not spending more than $50 on dinner…he’s not that into you.

McDonald’s isn’t a meal.

2. If he wears Sperry’s he feels like he’s better than you.

Splitsville is a quick trip when you’re running in Sperry’s.

3. If he wears musky cologne, you best believe he’s on the hunt.

It’s a guarantee he isn’t trying to catch you.

4. If he wears blue on Friday, he’s not happy.

You’re getting an ice cold shoulder. 

5. If he can’t rap Nicki Minaj, he doesn’t respect you.

He ain’t feelin’ you. 

6. If you’re going Dutch, he isn’t committed enough to spend money on you.

Splitting the check means splitting up.

7. If he doesn’t call you every night, he’s calling someone else.

Minutes cost money and he’s not willing to spend it on you.

8. If he doesn’t walk you all the way to class, he doesn’t want to deal with you.

He loves to see you leave but in the way you think.

9. If he isn’t bringing you flowers, then he’s saving them for someone else.

Your relationship would die faster than those flowers anyways. 

10. If he didn’t take you to see 50 Shades of Grey, he doesn’t find you attractive.

He does’t want to be tied down by you.